The Scenic In-Between

Tag: Musings

  • Chicago, IL (Part III)

    Chicago, IL (Part III)

    My time in Chicago has finally come to an end. This is the final Chicago blog post. In a few hours, I’m driving to Milwaukee for a wedding. These last 2.5 weeks were full of walks and friends.

    Monica and I got into a routine where one of us would remind the other to go for a walk when the weather was nice or when we had been sitting on the couch for too long. Most walks were around Monica’s neighborhood, which has some nice grassy areas with lakes and bridges, but other times we drove to a reservoir or lake and went to a brewery after. I also got to make sourdough again! I revived Monica’s starter, Craig, and made a few loaves and naan bread. I really miss Petunia, my starter, so it’s been nice having fresh sourdough again.

    I finally started coding again. I’m currently learning a new programming language, so I’m going through a tutorial. It has been very humbling. I still enjoy coding, but I started feeling anxiety again when I started doing it. It had been 6 months since I last wrote any code and I thought my burnout would be mostly gone by now, but I was wrong. I’m definitely doing a lot better, but I still have some healing time ahead of me. I’m trying not to beat myself up over having to be patient with myself. It’s so easy to think of myself as weak, but I keep reminding myself of everything I’ve put my body through in the last few years and how it took care of me through it all. I realized that part of why my anxiety showed up again is that I was unconsciously giving myself a deadline to finish the tutorial. I didn’t know it, but I was pressuring myself to finish it quickly and get started on the app. Once I told myself that I can go through it as slowly as I want to, it got much better. Now I’m still coding, but I’m doing it in small chunks on days when I have a lot of time.

    Two weekends ago, Monica and I went to her brother Tom’s house to help cut down a tree. There was a big tree close to the house and they were worried it would eventually fall on the house. Monica’s parents, two of her brothers, and one brother in law came to help. The men worked on cutting down the tree and the women helped break down the branches so we could add them to the burn pile. There were a few close calls. At one point, us girls were at the kitchen window watching them cut down a branch when we saw it start falling in our direction. We all screamed and ran in different directions to take cover. Luckily, the branch was tied to Tom’s truck and he stepped on the gas immediately to pull the branch in a different direction. Only some of the smaller branches hit the roof, so all was well.

    Last week, we had wonderful weather. To celebrate, I took my car to the shop to get the front brakes replaced. Just kidding, that wasn’t my way of celebrating the weather, but I did need new brakes. The rear brakes were replaced in November, so those were fine. I found a shop 5 minutes from Monica’s place that has a van that will take you home and pick you up once your car is done. It was great.

    On Thursday, Monica and I actually took advantage of the weather by going to a Cubs game. Then we bought pizza and went to her brother Peter’s place to have dinner with his family. On Friday, I helped my friend Aixa move. She’s a friend who I met in Chicago through Monica and Therese. I’ve been to Chicago enough that now she’s my friend too. Then Aixa, Monica, Therese, and I had dinner together on Saturday. When I first arrived in Chicago, I started saying that we all had to get together and it finally happened on my last weekend here.

    I’ve been back at Therese’s place this week. Luci is so close to walking. I keep telling her she needs to walk before I leave, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. This week has been very relaxing. We’ve run errands, watched TV, and made brownies. Therese’s parents and her brother Nicho came over last night for dinner so they could say goodbye to me. As usual, being in Chicago has been wonderful. It feels like home. And no, Monica and Therese, that doesn’t mean I’m moving to Chicago. It’s still waaay too cold here.

  • Bali, Indonesia

    Bali, Indonesia

    We landed in Bali on a Monday evening. Amelinda’s sister, Stella, had hired a travel agency to help plan our trip, since there were so many of us. The travel agency picked us up in a bus and took us to dinner and then to our hotel. On the way there, they told us the plan for the next day. We were going on an excursion and they would pick us up at 2 am. 2 am?! I was convinced that I had heard that wrong. Unfortunately, I had heard it right. They were picking us up at 2 am because we were going to drive 3 hours to a mountain, where we’d get in jeeps and drive them up the mountain to see the sunrise. I like sunrises and jeeps sounded fun, but then I remembered the 2 am part and thought, “hell no”. I was still sleep deprived and still not feeling great, so I opted out of that excursion.

    Our hotel was very nice. They had lots of plants, in-room massages, a tsunami evacuation route, a tattoo shop, a pool, a restaurant, and housekeeping left towels on your bed in cute animal shapes. When I first entered my room on Monday night, one of the first things I saw was the elephant towel on my bed. I love elephants. They’re the best animal. That’s how I knew we were at a good hotel.

    At 1 am, I got a wake-up call. And then I got another wake-up call a few minutes later where I actually talked to a human and acknowledged the call. And then I got 3 more wake-up calls. I’m glad I never found out who scheduled those calls because I was feeling murderous by the time they stopped. Wake-up calls are one of my pet peeves. If I need to be up at a certain time, I will be up at that time. I don’t need someone waking me up 30 minutes before I have to be up when I haven’t asked them to wake me up in the first place. Luckily, I was able to get more sleep after that.

    I wasn’t the only one who opted out of the excursion on Tuesday. Therese, Patrick, and Luci stayed too, so we spent the morning at the pool, complained about the wake-up calls, got in-room massages, and then ventured out to look for lunch. We found a Vietnamese restaurant with a menu that was an inch thick. Most of the menu was pictures, but they still had so many options. As we went through it, we had to keep our fingers on different pages to remember the options we liked the most. The food was delicious!

    The group that went on the excursion had offered to pick us up for dinner. I was exhausted and was full from our Vietnamese lunch, so I stayed at the hotel, saw the sunset, and went to bed early. When I was at the beach waiting for the sun to set, a lady selling bracelets approached me. I tried to tell her that I didn’t have any money and didn’t need any bracelets, but she said that she knew I didn’t need bracelets, but that I should still buy some to help her out. Business hadn’t been good in the last few weeks. Because of the war in Iran, the larger airports in the Middle East are closed and Europeans who usually get to Bali through those airport haven’t been able to make it. This lady really knew what she was doing. She sat next to me in the sand and told me about her kids and finally convinced me to buy bracelets when I realized that she wasn’t going to leave and I was about to miss the sunset. At least I haggled.

    The next day I learned that I hadn’t missed much the day before. The jeep ride was pretty bumpy and the sky was overcast, so there wasn’t much of a sunrise. Dinner was seafood that you had to spend a lot of time taking apart in order to eat. I like crab and lobster, but they’re not worth the effort, in my opinion. I was happy with my decision to skip the 2 am wake-up the day before.

    On Wednesday, we had another excursion with a more reasonable pick-up time, so I went on that one. We went to the Garuda Wisnu Kencana (GWK) Cultural Park. It has many statues and performances that showcase Balinese culture. Most of Indonesia is Muslim, but most of Bali is Hindu. Most houses in Bali have temples at the front and people leave offerings for the gods every day. Every year, Bali has a Day of Silence to celebrate the Hindu New Year. The entire island shuts down on that day, even the airport. The airport in Bali is the only international airport that closes for 24 hours every year. This year, they celebrated it on March 19th, so we just missed it.

    After visiting GWK, we had lunch and then went back to the pool at the hotel. The food in Indonesia is interesting. It’s either extremely flavorful or very bland. When it’s flavorful it’s usually also spicy. Since I can’t tolerate spicy food, I mostly ate the bland food. There were times when only a small part of the food wasn’t spicy or was mild enough that I could eat it, so others in our group would kindly eat my spicy food and give me their mild food. By Wednesday night, we were all a little tired of local food, so after watching the sunset, we had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe.

    The next morning, most of our group flew back to Jakarta. Therese, Patrick, Luci, Josh, Nicho, and I were flying out in the evening. Since we had a whole day, I was originally planning to go to the Uluwatu Temple. It’s a temple on a cliff by the ocean and there are free-roaming monkeys. However, I still wasn’t feeling great and we had a surprise 12 hour layover in Brisbane the next day, so I decided to take it easy so I could explore Brisbane. I mostly napped until the evening.

    My time in Indonesia wasn’t what I expected it to be. I expected to have more energy to go out and explore, but my body decided otherwise. I learned that if I’m going to go 24 hours without sleeping, I need to give myself a few rest days before trying to do too much. Even though it wasn’t what I expected, I still had a great time. I was able to find ways to enjoy my days even on the days when I felt the worst. I got to Indonesia thinking that if I’m flying to the other side of the world, I need to see as much of the country as possible. But I learned that flying to the other side of the world to spend time in the pool with friends is also a great plan. Maximizing my time in a place doesn’t mean seeing all it has to offer. It means enjoying myself as much as possible, while listening to my body and taking into account its capacity. That’s exactly what I did.

  • Hamilton, ON

    Hamilton, ON

    My car made it to Canada! I did too, but I’ve been to Canada multiple times, so that’s less exciting than my car being here. The officer at the border seemed surprised that I had driven all the way from Texas. Luckily, he believed me when I told him I didn’t have any guns in the car and let me in. I was a bit offended that he would actually think that if I owned a gun, I’d be dumb enough to drive across the country and into Canada with one.

    I arrived on Wednesday evening and I’m staying with my sister, Nathalie, her roommate, Mari, and their 2 cats, Junie Bitch Jones and Fatso. The cats are actually named Juniper and Smoke, but those are my nicknames for them. Nathalie and Mari call Juniper June or Junie, so I started calling her Junie B Jones after the main character of some of my favorite books from when I was 7. June is kind of a bitch to me sometimes, which is how her middle name became that. Smoke is overweight and constantly rubs against my legs when I’m in the kitchen because he wants food, so he got the nickname Fatso. Yes, I’m fat-shaming a cat and I don’t feel bad about it.

    On Thursday, I had lunch with Chris and Dianne, more Runkeeper friends. Later that day, I helped Nathalie siphon wine she made into a couple of wine bottles and I also helped her taste test it. It was really good! That night, Nathalie made cookies and she, Mari, Shaye (Nathalie’s boyfriend), and I had a 3 hour conversation about morality, religion, and whether men and women can be friends while we had dinner. On some of the topics, it was them vs me and on others, I had one or two of them on my side. While we touched on some intense topics, I really enjoyed the conversation. I always enjoy having respectful conversations with people I disagree with, where we’re all just trying to understand how others think and where they’re coming from. The cookies and wine also helped.

    On Friday, I mostly stayed in bed. While Nathalie and Mari worked, I read Eat Pray Love. At lunch time, Nathalie made us lunch and said that I shouldn’t feel guilty about reading while she cooked for me after she had been working while I was reading. I felt a little guilty anyway. For the first 32 years of my life, I trained myself to believe that I always need to be productive and helpful. That I always need to give of myself. That if others are working, I should be helping them. That I always need to serve others and it’s not ok to let others serve me. This conditioning is even harder to break when it comes to my siblings. With other people, it’s easier to let them take care of me. But with my siblings, there’s additional training that happened over the last 32 years where I made myself believe that I always had to take care of them, be there for them, have my shit together, be a good example to them, and give them all the answers that I had to figure out on my own. Luckily, I have wonderful sisters who are forcing me to let them take care of me. These days, I think I learn more from them than they learn from me.

    On Saturday, we went to London for the day. No, not that London. The London in Ontario. I met up with more Runkeeper friends (yes, I have a lot of those). I had coffee with Besat and then lunch with Besat and Rodrigo. In the afternoon, Nathalie, Mari, and I spent time with Dusya, my godmother. We were going to ice skate, but it was an outdoor rink and it was cold and windy, so we opted to catch up at a coffee shop.

    Earlier this week, we declared that Sunday would be our “do nothing day”, so that’s what we’re doing. Technically, I did laundry and I’m writing this blog post, so I’m doing things, but mostly, I’m resting. Tomorrow I’m driving to Chicago and on Wednesday I’m flying to Indonesia for 10 days. I won’t take my laptop, so I likely won’t post again until I’m back in Chicago, but you can rest assured that I will be having a lot of fun.

    On this leg of the trip, I managed to exchange a potato for a hot chocolate maker and a magnet. I had a potato left over from when I went grocery shopping in Asheville, so we used it for dinner a few days ago. Mari has a hot chocolate maker. It’s a little stainless steel bowl that you put the chocolate and milk in and it heats it up and mixes everything together. I was so excited when I saw it because I make hot chocolate and other warm milk drinks all the time. Since Mari never uses it, she gave it to me. Nathalie and Mari also have a Hamilton magnet on their fridge. I buy a magnet everywhere I travel, but I wasn’t able to find one here, so they’re giving me theirs. All in all, I think I can safely say that I got the better end of the bargain.

    Today marks one month since I started my road trip. It was the shortest month of the year and I’m surprised by how much I managed to fit in and how much I’m already feeling myself change (in a good way). I can’t wait to see what the next 5 months of road tripping bring!

  • Asheville, NC

    Asheville, NC

    On Thursday evening, after I arrived in Asheville, my friends Grief and Loneliness decided to visit me. They visit me every few months and like showing up out of the blue, without calling first to let me know they’re on their way. It’s very rude, but I’m used to it by now. In the past, I would to try to kick them out when they visited. I’d tell them I didn’t want them here and that it didn’t make sense for them to be here. That never worked. I’ve learned that the best way to deal with them is to invite them in, without questioning why they’re here, so that’s what I did. We talked to one of my sisters for a few hours and then we sat on the couch together and cried for a while. When I got tired of crying, we watched TV and read a book before going to bed.

    I liked the schedule I followed in Savannah, so after a slow morning on Friday, I convinced Grief and Loneliness that we should go on a hike in the afternoon. We’re in Asheville, so we might as well enjoy the views. We drove about an hour out of Asheville towards the Blue Ridge Parkway, which has a lot of scenic overlooks and hikes along it. I barely saw any cars on the road. It was just me driving up the mountain. At some point, I lost cell service and I realized that I had forgotten to download the maps of my route and the trails I planned to do. If something happened to me or my car, nobody would know. I kept going anyway. I had driven this far already and I wasn’t going home without seeing some beautiful views.

    When I got to the Blue Ridge Parkway, the road was closed. Parts of it close during the winter. I parked on the side of the road, as others had done, and started walking up the mountain. I had driven this far already and I wasn’t going home without seeing some beautiful views. As I walked, I ran into a few people coming back down who said there was an overlook and a hike ahead, so I kept going. I am very glad that I did. As I walked, it smelled so good! I’m not an expert at tree scents, but Google says I was probably smelling Fraser Fir and Red Spruce trees. I wish I could have bottled up the scent of the trees. It was so wonderful combined with the crisp winter weather. After walking about a mile, I got to a hike known as the Devil’s Courthouse. It’s just 1 mi long, but it’s steep, with 282 ft of elevation gain. I’m out of shape and it was brutal, but it was so worth it.

    As I sat on the rocks looking at that view, I felt so happy and so much peace. All my problems seemed insignificant compared to the mountains and valleys before me. At some point, I realized that Grief and Loneliness were gone. I guess the hike was too steep for them and they went off to explore somewhere else. As I drove back down the mountain alone, in silence, with no music and the windows down, I felt so incredibly happy. I knew it was temporary and that my friends would show back up later that day, but I savored every moment. As expected, Grief and Loneliness did come back that evening. It felt strange to feel them while I was still on a high from the hike earlier in the day, but I didn’t question the strangeness and spent the evening relaxing with my two friends.

    On Saturday morning I had another slow morning. They were still around but were less demanding than the day before. In the afternoon, I drove to the River Arts District to check out the local artists. It was hard being there because there were so many beautiful things that I wanted to buy. But I’ve just started this road trip and it wouldn’t be a good idea to start accumulating pretty and breakable objects yet, so I contained myself.

    I spent another evening reading and watching shows with two my friends. At some point during the evening, Grief and Loneliness left, just as suddenly as they had arrived! Once they were gone, I was left feeling incredible joy. It was ridiculous how happy I felt. It made no sense. It was bliss. I can’t remember when the last time I felt this happy was. Is this what being truly rested feels like? Why didn’t anyone tell me that I could feel this way? I’ve been missing out all these years. If you don’t feel ridiculous joy, take this as your sign to blow up your life and go on a 6 month road trip. I know not everyone has the luxury of doing that, but I’m incredibly grateful that I do.

    Today, I’m still feeling the joy from last night. It was a rainy day, so I walked to a coffee shop in the morning to buy a chai latte (unfortunately, it wasn’t very good) and I spent the morning reading, while sipping my tea. Once the rain stopped, I walked downtown and checked out the boutiques. I had the same issue as yesterday where I wanted to buy everything, but I held back. I’m spending the evening on multiple phone calls, catching up with friends.

    Asheville has been an emotional rollercoaster, but it’s been wonderful. Tomorrow, I’m heading to Greensboro, NC. It’s not a long drive, so on the way, I’m going to drive another part of the Blue Ridge Parkway and stop for hikes. I’ll also visit cute towns in the area. I’m hoping for more amazing views.

    P.S. In case any of you are wondering if I’m depressed, the answer is no. The grief and loneliness I experience are a normal part of figuring out who I am and what I want. They’re a normal part of not having the life I’ve always wanted and thought I’d have by now. I used to think that feeling these things was wrong because I have a great life and have been very lucky. But in the past year, I’ve learned that having a great life can coexist with feeling grief. It doesn’t mean that my life sucks or that I think my problems are bigger than other people’s problems. It just is. I debated whether I should write about all this in this post. I ultimately decided to do so for a few reasons:

    1. I’ve been working on learning how to be vulnerable in the past year and this is a good way to practice that.
    2. I know that many people experience this and I want to normalize talking about it.
    3. This blog is as much for me as it is for all of you. I know that in a few years, when I look back at the blog, I’m going to be glad that I put this all in writing. I’m really proud of how much I’ve grown in the past year and how I’ve learned to handle my feelings. I needed to immortalize that so I’ll never forget it.
  • Why a Road Trip?

    Why a Road Trip?

    Many people have asked me what made me want to go on a cross-country road trip. The short answer is that I’ve always wanted to do one and I’m at point in life where I need to learn how to rest and figure out what I want (as opposed to what others tell me I should want) and this is a good way to do it. For the long answer, I need to back up a little.

    In early October 2025, I was laid off. It was rough. I loved working at Runkeeper. The company has been part of my life for the past 10 years. When I was in college, I did a 6 month co-op there. After graduating, I worked there full time for 3 years. And after a few years at Amazon, I went back to Runkeeper and had been there for 3 years when the layoffs happened. It really felt like the end of an era.

    • The floor is lava

    I gave myself a week off before looking for a new job, but when I started looking again, the idea of going back to work gave me anxiety. I was also extremely fatigued and realized that I’ve been burned out for years. Some of you might be thinking, “Priscilla, how are you burned out? Your work life balance was great, you didn’t work on Fridays, and you worked from home, which allowed you to work from anywhere in the world and do laundry during your work day.” The answer to your very logical question is that Runkeeper wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I never learned how to rest. My whole life, I’ve made productivity a big part of my identity and self-worth, which means that even my rest had to be “earned” and had to be “productive”. When I realized that, I decided to take the rest of 2025 off to learn how to truly rest and hopefully put it into practice.

    In November, I drove to the Smoky Mountains and spent a week there with a friend. I drove because we were in the middle of a government shutdown and I didn’t want to deal with airports. It’s a 15 hour drive that I split into 2 days. On the second day, when I was somewhere in Tennessee, I found myself thinking that it would have been so much faster to fly. And I realized that that is exactly why it was good that I drove. Driving forced me to slow down, to take a breath, and just be. Yes, I had audiobooks and podcast episodes queued for the drive, but when you’re on the road for so long, you eventually get tired of listening to things and need silence. It was in that silence, on a highway in Tennessee lined with orange trees, that I realized that sitting in a car for many hours with nothing to do and learning to enjoy it was exactly what I needed.

    While I was at the Smokies, that thought stayed with me. I’ve been wanting to do a cross-country road trip for a long time, but never seriously considered it because it would mean taking a few weeks off of work and finding someone who is also willing to take a few weeks off to do it with me. But as I sat on the porch of our cabin, I realized that I don’t need anyone to do it with me. I know people all over the US and Canada. I could visit all those people and stop at a few other cities and national parks along the way. That way, I wouldn’t be alone for the entire trip, but I would have enough alone time to recharge my introvert social battery. And so the road trip was born.

    The idea of going on a road trip alone and spending most of the year unemployed is slightly terrifying. But it’s also very exciting. It’s something that Priscilla from 6 months ago would never have done and I’m proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone. I don’t know what will come out of this road trip or who I’ll be at the end of it. Some of my friends joke that I’ll come back with blue hair, tattoos, and a nose ring. That is extremely unlikely, but I do hope that I’ll come back more me. That I will have grown into myself and by growing into myself, expand out of myself, if that makes any sense. I have all my stops planned out, but I also have no expectations and am open to veering from the plan. So here’s to having fun, truly resting, and enjoying the views along the way. Thank you for coming on this road trip with me!